It’s sad that for so many queer people, the church has been the villain in their story. 46-year-old straight white male, clergy, No. Georgia AC

Lack of inclusivity is pushing me away from church and causing me to question my faith in God. 18-year-old bisexual white female, laity, Kentucky AC

The church lost gifted people based on their sexuality, and they lost our whole generation (Gen X and Z). True contrition and repentance is needed, but I don’t know if we’re humble enough to do that. 39-year-old straight white female, laity, Iowa AC

God’s grace has left the building. 69-year-old straight white female, laity, Upper New York AC

My gay brother died of HIV and I realized it was his gay and lesbian friends who were ministering to us, doing what Jesus told us to do. That was an epiphany for me. 66-year-old straight white female, laity, Texas AC

We wanted to start a reconciling movement in the community and we wanted to meet in the church, just a room to hold meetings. (The church) would not let us. 72-year-old straight white female, retired deacon, Kentucky AC

I found The UMC at a time in my life when I was lost. I stepped into a Methodist church and I heard a message of grace and love and forgiveness for the first time in a Christian church, instead of judgement and anger and wrath. And I’ve loved the Methodist understanding of God since. 46-year-old straight white male, clergy, No. Georgia AC

Unless we understand God as infinitely loving, we’re in trouble. And if we think we’re the enforcers, we’re wrong. 78-year-old straight white female, retired clergy, California-Nevada AC

If the church is to be the church, it must boldly proclaim God’s love for all. 84-year-old straight white male, retired clergy, Great Plains AC

But I don’t see The UMC disintegrating. I see it refocusing and restructuring and being able to thrive without conflict, without quite so much overt conflict over that one particular issue. 60-year-old straight white female, New England AC

The future of The UMC has to revolutionize. It has to come from the ground up. We aren’t just pruning off leaves. You have to dig your hands in the dirt and remove everything that we’ve taught about heteronormativity in our society and it has to change. We have to change the way we read the Bible, we have to get out the (white, homophobic) evangelicalism from our churches. We have to plant something that’s worth attending, worth drawing people in, so that when we invite people in, there is something worth seeing and worth belonging to and it can actually be safe, instead of just putting a label safe stamp on it. 33-year-old asexual-queer white woman, laity, California-Pacific AC

Total interviews: 114

• 18 clergy (including 1 provisional elder, 1 clergy candidate)
• 18 retired clergy
• 1 church staff
• 68 laity
• 9 former members (have left the UMC)

Average length of interview: 45 minutes

Age range: 18 – 91 years

Median age: 66 years

Race/ethnicity:

• 1 Asian
• 2 Latina/Latino
• 111 white, non-Hispanic

Gender:              

• 62 female/woman
• 49 male/man
• 3 nonbinary

Self-identified sexual orientation:            

• 2 asexual
• 3 bisexual
• 8 gay
• 92 heterosexual/straight
• 2 homosexual
• 3 lesbian
• 2 nonbinary
• 2 queer

Is your local congregation a reconciling church? (not all answered this question):

• 51 said yes - “reconciling congregation”
• 59 said no - “not a reconciling congregation”

Geographic representation:

Interviewees come from 44 different annual conferences

• North Central Jurisdiction = 16 interviews (from 9 annual conferences)
• Northeastern Jurisdiction = 19 interviews (from 8 annual conferences)
• South Central Jurisdiction = 17 interviews (from 8 annual conferences)
• Southeastern Jurisdiction = 40 interviews (from 13 annual conferences)
• Western Jurisdiction = 22 interviews (from 6 annual conferences)              

Diversity is good. The Wesleyan quadrilateral allows for different interpretations. Each end of the spectrum needs to share and talk. Journeying together helps. 65-year-old straight white female, laity, Oregon-Idaho AC

It’s not policy or legality. It’s people. 68-year-old straight white female, retired clergy, Eastern PA AC

God’s call is more important than the Discipline’s call. 60-year-old straight white male, clergy, Baltimore-Washington AC

Local relationships matter. I like the big tent – it lets me be a bridge. 63-year-old straight white male, laity, Western PA AC

There’s a struggle over social issues in the church, but social justice is central to the history of Methodism and is a matter of conscience. 76-year-old straight white male, retired clergy, Indiana AC

Activism is part and parcel of being a follower of Jesus Christ. – 30-year-old straight Latinx male, laity, Upper New York

We started an LGBTQ youth group for kids in our community. It’s not a ministry of the church, it’s just something that’s held at the church, in the fellowship hall. It was not a desire to grow the church at all; it was just a desire to meet a need. But it ends up that five families now join our congregation because of that youth group. 41-year-old straight white woman, clergy, Virginia AC

God can call anyone God wants. God’s message to me was clear – (I) need to stay and fight. 62-year-old straight white female, clergy, Western NC AC

I realized that my job was not to put on anyone a burden that I don’t bear. That I’m supposed to be lifting burdens, not making them worse, and that changed my perspective on things. 48-year-old straight white man, clergy, North Alabama AC

God has led me here. I’m called to be a bridge. I try to be a nonthreatening voice for the queer community. 66-year-old homosexual white female, laity, Western PA AC

The church didn’t always accept me, but God did. Be loyal to God’s call. – 72-year-old gay white male, retired clergy, Wisconsin

The UMC heritage of grace, love and social justice is important. Experience led me to question traditional ideas. I’m an aspirational activist – there’s always more that I could do. I recognize the need to balance my calling with risk to my career. 36-year-old straight white male, clergy, New England AC

Maybe we can get back to loving again. 72-year-old straight white female, retired deacon, Kentucky AC

I have been loved back into the church. The Open Table is fundamental. I’m a conscious ally. Don’t hide, do what’s right, bear the consequences. 78-year-old straight white female, retired clergy, California-Nevada AC

I stay to work for change. The church doesn’t become inclusive if I leave. 41-year-old straight white male, clergy, East Ohio AC

I stay because I want to be in the conversation. 51-year-old straight white male, laity, So. Georgia AC

I’m frustrated, but I see hope in young people who are affirming. So long as there’s still hope, I want to be part of the change. 44-year-old straight white female, laity, South Carolina AC

As a clinical psychologist, I’ve seen the harm done to gays and lesbians. I want to be part of the movement for inclusion. 80-year-old straight white male, laity, Kentucky AC

Part of why I will not give up on this is because there are too many people who are being hurt every day, every moment. 77-year-old straight white male, retired clergy, No. Georgia AC

There will be bumps along the way, there will be setbacks to the notion of tolerance and inclusiveness. But I’m here for the long term to try to work within the church with the sort of confidence that we will come to the right answers on this particular issue, even though others have other answers at the moment. 78-year-old straight white male, laity, Alabama-West Florida AC

I could leave any day. But this is my church and my family. I’d rather stay and fight for those without a voice, for young people and for the legacy of those who came before us. 58-year-old queer white male, laity, North Texas AC